Ghanta, Aal izz well =/

Since birth, i have been told that you should be a doctor. My gramma and grampa blackmailed me by saying u can even cure us and you know a 7 year old would really love to see her gramma running with her or something...idk :P
My dad always said, you be what u wanna...it doesnt matter. My mom agreed. But in recent years, she started stressing on being a doctor. Well i liked biology...no matter :D
But i know now that i have a fear of blood. And a fear of studying. And being a doctor implies both.
My cousin was discouraged of being one "because will be married early, and there is no point of delaying it for studies" even though she lives in Australia =/. My mom is the total opposite. She never mentions about my marriage, things she is accumulating for dowry and whatever, and this is a reaaaaaaaally awkward topic for me therefore. All she wants is me being a doctor.
Anyway, I had been stressing for a few weeks now how I did not want to be one. Telling her that i had a phobia of blood, how my body ached when i saw someone bleeding, how just the thought of studying blood components made me aware of every cell in my body, and how the smell made me die from inside of pain and misery. But she never understood, cuz she never has felt it. She thought it was temporary, my feeling, but as i grew older it has steadily increased, but its another thing that i never mention it.
My real passion is World Culture. Languages, art, literature, religion, ethics, traditions; things that vary from every tribe and town, which make up the conscience of the soul. Beauty at its purest form. That is my secret love.
A memory stuck in my head, when i think about how my dad would have thought about my choice, it seems, i remember that once in a book exhibition, i saw a wonderful set of fourteen indexed books, about each of the world cultures. I showed it to him. It was a seven thousand rupee set. He looked at me for an instant, and understood. He told the guy to wrap up the set, when i said i didnt want it. It seems he wouldn't have had a problem...
Still my mother thought it was a stupid subject. No respect, not a proper job, what will i do becoming a professor?
Finally having showed mom 3 Idiots, I asked her what she thought about me wanting to study World Culture. She said fine, do what you want with life. Strangely, it doesnt seem that i can anymore. A half-hearted fine doesn't work.
Made me wonder how many people have tired to change their parents' opinion by showing them movies, and then going ahead with what they want when they were successful. How did they get the strength?
Right now, im really hating Amir Khan for making movies that change perspectives. Because its making me feel guilty. Would have been better if i'd have got to hear that "fine" without any effort, when it really was a realization. What is the point of an artificial change of perspective when the heart still doesnt agree? And then once again, my aunt will come. Tell me, "Shiza you must specialize" and again mom will say aunty is right, what are you doing trying on culture? And we are back to square one.
And then there is no one to back me even. The entire family that i can rely on to give me good advice is mothers' side and they will all back her up.
And they debate that teens dont have real issues =/ An alone, confused, pressured teen is a big issue, chachoo.


SK

P.S: I'm not saying mom is wrong, she's just become afraid. And who wouldn't be?