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Jaane na kahaan wo duniya hai
jaane na wo hai bhi ya nahin
jahan meri zindagi mujhse
itni khafa nahin...?

Ghanta, Aal izz well =/

Since birth, i have been told that you should be a doctor. My gramma and grampa blackmailed me by saying u can even cure us and you know a 7 year old would really love to see her gramma running with her or something...idk :P
My dad always said, you be what u wanna...it doesnt matter. My mom agreed. But in recent years, she started stressing on being a doctor. Well i liked biology...no matter :D
But i know now that i have a fear of blood. And a fear of studying. And being a doctor implies both.
My cousin was discouraged of being one "because will be married early, and there is no point of delaying it for studies" even though she lives in Australia =/. My mom is the total opposite. She never mentions about my marriage, things she is accumulating for dowry and whatever, and this is a reaaaaaaaally awkward topic for me therefore. All she wants is me being a doctor.
Anyway, I had been stressing for a few weeks now how I did not want to be one. Telling her that i had a phobia of blood, how my body ached when i saw someone bleeding, how just the thought of studying blood components made me aware of every cell in my body, and how the smell made me die from inside of pain and misery. But she never understood, cuz she never has felt it. She thought it was temporary, my feeling, but as i grew older it has steadily increased, but its another thing that i never mention it.
My real passion is World Culture. Languages, art, literature, religion, ethics, traditions; things that vary from every tribe and town, which make up the conscience of the soul. Beauty at its purest form. That is my secret love.
A memory stuck in my head, when i think about how my dad would have thought about my choice, it seems, i remember that once in a book exhibition, i saw a wonderful set of fourteen indexed books, about each of the world cultures. I showed it to him. It was a seven thousand rupee set. He looked at me for an instant, and understood. He told the guy to wrap up the set, when i said i didnt want it. It seems he wouldn't have had a problem...
Still my mother thought it was a stupid subject. No respect, not a proper job, what will i do becoming a professor?
Finally having showed mom 3 Idiots, I asked her what she thought about me wanting to study World Culture. She said fine, do what you want with life. Strangely, it doesnt seem that i can anymore. A half-hearted fine doesn't work.
Made me wonder how many people have tired to change their parents' opinion by showing them movies, and then going ahead with what they want when they were successful. How did they get the strength?
Right now, im really hating Amir Khan for making movies that change perspectives. Because its making me feel guilty. Would have been better if i'd have got to hear that "fine" without any effort, when it really was a realization. What is the point of an artificial change of perspective when the heart still doesnt agree? And then once again, my aunt will come. Tell me, "Shiza you must specialize" and again mom will say aunty is right, what are you doing trying on culture? And we are back to square one.
And then there is no one to back me even. The entire family that i can rely on to give me good advice is mothers' side and they will all back her up.
And they debate that teens dont have real issues =/ An alone, confused, pressured teen is a big issue, chachoo.


SK

P.S: I'm not saying mom is wrong, she's just become afraid. And who wouldn't be?

Career Catapults =/

TO HELL with the boards in May...
TO HELL with physics...
TO HELL with Chemistry...
TO HELL with Math...
TO HELL with Biology...

What am I stressed about, if not boards then??
UNIVERSITY! :|

Right now at 6.05 am on 19th of February, 2010, the thing im most pissed at is Pakistani universities not recognizing the Cambridge board of education! I.E the board im in.
From a massed opinion i gather, that if i do my 12 and 13th/11th and 12th/1st and second year college from a cambridge board school, i will not get admission to Pakistani universities on account of equivalence issues, meaning that they have to cut off 10% from my percentile to make me equal to the lower standard of the Pakistani board!! Freaking hell?? Its not my fault that i study something proper??
ITS JUST EFFING LAME.

And its only for medical students.
What crime have we done??!!! Its the damned lawyers who are disrupting the country, we actually heal u :|

And now i have to deal with the confusion that i have only a 10% chance of university from my current board, while i have 90% from the Pakistani board, which i dont want to switch to because of standard issues! Plus the only good college in that board might just pick me for the evening shift, cuz they prefer ppl of their own SECT(wtf?!) which will just plain kill me.
And i cant even go abroad, cuz hey, there aint no Medical university there that a normal person cant afford!

WHY do i even HAVE to consider physics and math as an alternative? ENGINEERING! BLEH :|
I HATTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE U AAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKUUUUUUUU!!


P.S im considering this now only, cuz i need to take up subjects as well that match my under grad. :|

Bleeding gums...man

You brace me up and then
I keep bleeding
keep keep bleeding...gums??


Well what else could you sing everyday while you brush your teeth trying to keep away from all the pain inflicted areas and seeing blood seeping through every nook and corner of you mouth that isn't covered in braces?
Man...and you though i would have already grown out of my hemophobia what with all the gingivitis Ive had since i was 13 :|
If you dont know what im talking about, gingivitis is a disease when your gums bleed wthout swelling up. But now i think i have scurvy too which originated from pirates and leads to you gums swelling up and bleeding because of lack of vitamin C...Arr!
So then what do dentists do to me? What a gory entry ive chosen huh... :| But since no one knows what happens except those unlucky people who HAVE braces man...you have no idea what we suffer. The American Association of Orthodontists, called the AAO, estimates that more than 4 Million people in the United States and Canada are wearing braces every year. Ha! man if i would ever be asked if anyone should get braces i would say no to the heck of it...Theyre a pain in the...mouth ;)
Ya know, normal humans have like, 32 teeth. Each time I count, i have only 28 :| Unlike all you people who got another reason o say im abnormal, man, i had all those other one plucked out ONE BY ONE slowwwwwlllyyyy... and you know how they get extracted? First they inject anesthetics with an injection into my GUM :/ then they pull it down lower, and using their forceps they pull it out by the root. bwahah...imagine that.
And recently i have also been aquainted with these things called cheek retractors, or as i say: dental torture devices. They are put at the corners of your mouth, and have this nozzle thing that makes them pull the cheeks apart till u can no longer feel your face because all the friggin pain is centered on your mouth and your cheeks are so far away you would have never thought it possible otherwise :| and Ofcourse, who loves to use this thing? MALE HOUSE-JOB STUDENTS! They just arent satisfied with how big i can open my mouth naturally. Well you assholes i open it same as you open it so go and put those things in your own mouths before you start experimenting on me! :|
HOUSE-JOBBERS STINK
And my dentists let them practice on me :| efftards.
First time when i went to the dentist na, Well its a college, so there were students, and the person incharge of taking up cases was their senior professor yeah, so he was all like yeah come and see kids this is a rare and severe case of (some dental term here) and an overbite(which means that my upper teeth, when closed land in front of my lower teeth, and yes that is a dental no-no). And so these amatuer freaks started flocking me. Literally the WHOLE student body came to see my tooth like i was the first case they'd ever seen of a turned toothed kid :| And everyone was like turn here, no turn here...NO turn here and grabbing my chin and jerking my head like a i was an effing doll n not a human :|
And you know what, i can be a better dentist than all of these retards...cuz i already have the entire frikkin procedure memorized man!!

Glue!!

Not literally, glue. I actually wanted it to be related to attatching/clingyness xD.

Basically this post is about people who are extremely clingy or "chipku".

Everyone has probably encountered such people? Right. Your befriend them, be kind to them like any other friend but then they think its some special treatement theyre getting n start to get over the top. They become irritatinish, annoyinish n outright unmanagable. If you dont tell them anything they pry n pry even though you dont want to and they really dont respect your choice because they are your "special friends". Fine, they are friends, but you see:

1. They havent confirmed if they really are you special friends

2. Special friends respect each other

You have to resort to indirect means to get to them and they still refuse to believe it because "you wont do such a thing to me, because we are friends. You must mean someone else". Hello?! Its directly in your face!! :P

They start answering your messages because "i know what you would write anyway". They enter converstations involving you even though no one invited them, and even if no one is speaking to them.

They comment on everything you do, question everything you dont and just dont let anything go!!

Honestly such people make me sick to the point i could just tear them off my life, but i just cant tell them just out of kindness. It becomes awkward if you tell someone you are annoying and they would laugh it off saying we are kidding. Now even if direct or indirect means dont work what is a person to do but finally be ruthless and remove them? *Sigh* I wish i could bring myself to do that ;)

Friends are just likeable when they have a pleasant aura and let you be with yourself for a time. We need our space.

Ah well...credits time :P

Entry idea courtesy:: Uncle :P (self proclaimed he who must not be named :|)

Inspiration:: Finished and dead :P ;)

SK

Boys are dumb!!

Okay so why did i pick such a controversial topic?? Lets just say this opinion was always bursting inside and so i had to talk about it :P

According to general perception girls are dumb. Ok, i agree to some extent...considering that the stupidest person on the planet is Paris Hilton and she's a girl :P. Alright a lady then.

But thats not just how you classify females as stupid because of such born stupid people. We may be slow but we are not stupid. "Behind every sucessful man is a woman". Yeah sure GT might say it's an "utterly biased entry" but really im just being real here. Lots of women are pretty intelligent. Marie Curie for one. Mother Teresa for two.

Right now if i say that i know what Opera is, my guy friends would go "are you serious?! but ure a girl, this is not your field. Go talk about makeup." Really such sexist comments make me angry.

Right im straying from the point xD

Like i said i wont judge from some people's weird actions about the whole male gender but i'll just say that they are equally dumb and slow as women are :P

Their passions:

1. Riding. Have accidents, near death experiences, but still wont budge. Going on EVEN faster the speed they hit another vehicle with. Bravo!! sure its credible that they dont develop phobias like me but they can be careful no? ah just the thrill of the speed and the wind in my hair.... even if you go at 60 km/hr u will still feel the frikkin wind in ure frikkin hair dammit :P

2. Girls. Drool came out of his mouth as he stared wide eyed at the pretty girl with long black hair, mehendi on her hands, glittering brown eyes in the sun. He struggled and finally got her as his own. One day they were walking in the park he saw a beautiful girl sitting alone reading a book. She had short hair and blue eyes and was tanned. he started drooling....

ring a bell?? yeah i know typical guy story :P and they say we break their hearts?

3. Studies. Either they are excellent in them, or they are so dumb that they woukd repeat classes without even having the tint of shame :P. Atleast girls realise they have some dignity :P

Their habits:

1. Eating. Mess. He took me to dinner but he was such a slob that i could'nt bear it. Why? Ever seen a guy eat?? I swear. NEVER do they eat without making some kind of mess :P. Either will the spill their drink, splatter the gravy, drop the rice, slurp on the pasta such that the juice will go everywhere. They DONT have table manners. They prefer eating in bed. Wont even spread a newspaper underneath their plates. Leave bits of tissue or rice after eating. And if they spill anything they dont even bother!! What are their mother/sister for??

2. Laziness. The number one trait :P No need to even explain. Hey XYZ help me move this couch? Nah SK later... Im beefed. What the hell did u even do? Go and come back from college? Hey yanno you comsume more fat than we do and you are stronger than we are but its we who are doing all the physical work(cooking, cleaning) while you go to work/study come back and doze off :P Never can they arrange their own wardrobe. I happen to know a person who kept all his clothes on his bed :P No effort, said he, i can just wear the whenever i like. Again, i swear, DONT let guys go into hostels :P they'll be active only for food :P

3. Hygene. God. Help me if ever i need to tread in the unknown recesses of the room of a teenage boy. :P Books everwhere, unread, or stained with food particles :O. Bits of old clothing here and there the odor getting stronger as the weeks pass. A month old plate and spoon in that corner, an upturned sock in the other, and in between the sole of a shoe that remains unfound even after ages :P

4. Angry. Too much. Annoying. Too much. enuff sayd :P They follow you around too much if you just show a little sympathy. Its gets annoying :P

Right. Those were my views :P

I'll say a few kind words in the end i guess. Had there been no boys there would have been no perkiness and no cheerfulness cuz gals in themselves are pretty dull and efficient xD

Then also, boys make better friends than girls do :P probably because the have less jelousy issues :P.

SK

EDIT >>September 18, 2009 : 11.06 PM

Habit number 5.

They STARE!!

I totally forgot the worst trait of guys!! They stare like they've never seen a girl before :| Its absolutely disgusting and cheap. It makes us feel like we are some object in a museum :|. Have some decency guys :P And they wonder why i wear a dupatta all the time 8-| :P

Damn xD

Waaaaaaaaah...

What a year eh? Ya know my horoscope said that this year you will have sme accident and operations and smething more lol and hey i fractured my back! :D

Soooooooo much time to think about exams and results n nonsense but all i kept doing was manga chatting anime la la la :S

And results? Yeah they were awesome :D i was worried for no damned reason! and i feel so fi-i-ne right now!! :D I just finished the destruction of namis pic :P gues tht helped xD

Yeah this one will be about injuries and time spent on bed becuz i want to always remember this feeling as it will help me remember the worst time of my teenage life? :S and ill do it vividly for myself so you dont have to read it anyway :P

Anyway...So i fell....confusion?PAIN! but the crazy thing was i still had my head through it all. I saw my parents running to me...i felt the thirst? yep water :P i didnt know youd get thirsty when u cracked a calcium holder eh?

Hospital. Jeez i always though about how fun it would be on a stretcher but the way people looked at you with pity :| jeez r u making me feel worse?? n moving for x-rays was the worst part :P

Wheelchair. yipee. the thing my mom never let me sit on cuz of some crazy fear id end up in one some day i guess?? anyway hey being pushed is fun! :P

All the time...that unbearable pain.

Doctor. Hey u cracked some lil bone in ure back! You cant get up for 2 weeks now sorry. If you do ull collapse it further :| oookaaayyy....

2 weeks? HELL. 1st night? no movement. HELL. cant sleep wothout turning to side. CRYING. Finally getting to move yaaay! :D embarrasment. making ure mom do work for you. not even able to drink without a straw. depression.

Visitors. Hey dammit im not dying so dont make a damned fuss about it >:P

Gifts. Yaaay. Juices. YAAAAAAAAy :D

2 weeks over.Doctor. Hey good it didnt collapse or you wuda gone into ICU right now! WTF?? Go go 4 more weeks :D. EHHHH??!?!?

.......................Manga manga manga manga manga manga manga......................

School first day:: No Carying bag. Walking during class. heyyy i love this.

3rd Period. Result!!!!!!!!!!!!

5th period. PAIN!

Uncle is not taking me to malaysia till i fully recover [-(

But im alright nowwwwwwwwwww na? no i dont have pain :P

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

lol psycho retarded post. :P

but this is who i am when im not depresed sooo :P

byee xD